"In repentance and rest is your salvation,
In quietness and trust is your strength."
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Friday, November 12, 2010
no gain or loss, could keep us from his love
Ya know, I’m just not ready for today to be a normal day. And I think that’s okay.
Two years ago, on this day, Caleb passed away. And everything in my worldview changed.
I cannot believe it’s been 2 years. Two years without my brother.
And “they” always say when something big happens you always remember exactly where you were, what you were wearing, who you were with, every detail. And this day is no different...I feel like I remember that day like it was 2 minutes ago.
It was like everything was put on hold for awhile. For 5 or 6 days it seemed as though time stopped.
I can’t help but think of the last time I ever saw or spoke to Caleb. And how if only I had known. But you just can’t. And I didn’t. Life is so fragile. It really is here and gone in the blink of an eye.
And now here I am, two years later. Unbelievable. And I am so aware that the world just is not “right”. As long as I live there will be a Caleb-shaped hole in my life, and it will never be okay with me. But one day, I know all things WILL be made right. That our losses, and pains, and hurts will one day be worth it. And for that reason, we can have hope.
Today I am thankful for God’s healing. I think of the story of Lazarus and how his sister’s Mary and Martha were crying out to Jesus, “Why didn’t you save him?! You could have…if only you had been here.” And what did Jesus do? He grieved and mourned with the sisters. And I find comfort knowing that Jesus cries with me and simply that He knows. He continues to be faithful – He has and is and will always be. (John 11)
I am reminded of my responsibility; my responsibility to love. When you experience the Love of Christ that physically lifts you when you cannot stand, gets you out of bed when you feel you can’t face the day, and brings light to your darkest moments…you can’t help but love deeper. My prayer is that in my life I would share that love with others – because it has so changed and impacted me. It’s hard. I easily lose sight of this. There isn’t much time in this world anyways – so why not love bigger, and deeper, and more passionately?
Thanks to everyone who was there during this time 2 years ago. And thanks to those of you who have continued to pray for me and my parents. Your prayers are felt and most definitely heard. If you think of it today, prayers for my parents would be greatly appreciated.
I’m humbled and encouraged by God’s timing. Today, at some point, I get to be with each one of the bee’s (the 3 girls that were there when I found out about Caleb). God is extra gracious with me. I am so thankful for the people in my life. Also, recently my phone broke so I had to revert back to my old, crappy phone. But it's the phone that I had this time 2 years ago and I have tons of saved text messages from a lot you. It's cool to look back and read them and see how far the Lord has brought me.
Thank you.
Love you all. For real.
"no mountain, no valley, no gain or loss, could keep us from His love"
Two years ago, on this day, Caleb passed away. And everything in my worldview changed.
I cannot believe it’s been 2 years. Two years without my brother.
And “they” always say when something big happens you always remember exactly where you were, what you were wearing, who you were with, every detail. And this day is no different...I feel like I remember that day like it was 2 minutes ago.
It was like everything was put on hold for awhile. For 5 or 6 days it seemed as though time stopped.
I can’t help but think of the last time I ever saw or spoke to Caleb. And how if only I had known. But you just can’t. And I didn’t. Life is so fragile. It really is here and gone in the blink of an eye.
And now here I am, two years later. Unbelievable. And I am so aware that the world just is not “right”. As long as I live there will be a Caleb-shaped hole in my life, and it will never be okay with me. But one day, I know all things WILL be made right. That our losses, and pains, and hurts will one day be worth it. And for that reason, we can have hope.
Today I am thankful for God’s healing. I think of the story of Lazarus and how his sister’s Mary and Martha were crying out to Jesus, “Why didn’t you save him?! You could have…if only you had been here.” And what did Jesus do? He grieved and mourned with the sisters. And I find comfort knowing that Jesus cries with me and simply that He knows. He continues to be faithful – He has and is and will always be. (John 11)
I am reminded of my responsibility; my responsibility to love. When you experience the Love of Christ that physically lifts you when you cannot stand, gets you out of bed when you feel you can’t face the day, and brings light to your darkest moments…you can’t help but love deeper. My prayer is that in my life I would share that love with others – because it has so changed and impacted me. It’s hard. I easily lose sight of this. There isn’t much time in this world anyways – so why not love bigger, and deeper, and more passionately?
Thanks to everyone who was there during this time 2 years ago. And thanks to those of you who have continued to pray for me and my parents. Your prayers are felt and most definitely heard. If you think of it today, prayers for my parents would be greatly appreciated.
I’m humbled and encouraged by God’s timing. Today, at some point, I get to be with each one of the bee’s (the 3 girls that were there when I found out about Caleb). God is extra gracious with me. I am so thankful for the people in my life. Also, recently my phone broke so I had to revert back to my old, crappy phone. But it's the phone that I had this time 2 years ago and I have tons of saved text messages from a lot you. It's cool to look back and read them and see how far the Lord has brought me.
Thank you.
Love you all. For real.
"no mountain, no valley, no gain or loss, could keep us from His love"
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