teachable?

The day before I left for Kenya, I posted lyrics from this song.
And tonight, three months later, I am reminded of the call.
The call, not to make videos or fulfill certain duties...but to carry hope to hopeless eyes. to show the world that mercy is alive.
Perspective check.
It's pretty easy to listen to a song like that and make excuses. Excuses why our lives aren't doing more of that - more of the carrying hope, the abandoning all, the taking to the street.
But I find it a little more difficult here to make those excuses when slum children are begging for food, when women sit on the street corner all day waiting for work, when a man can work an entire day and earn wages equivalent to what I could spend for a small package of cheese or a bundle of grapes.
I don't know, really.
I think a lot of this comes from the recent news surrounding Kenya. There is a lot of conflict, a lot of hurting, a lot of desperate people. East Africa is experiencing the worst drought in 60 years, resulting in famine - affecting nearly 10 million people.
Thousands of people are fleeing into Kenya EVERY day in search of food. And Sudan is full of conflict as tomorrow the country will split into two new, different nations.
(some really good articles about things going on over here)

It's just very sobering to be right here, so close to so much devastation.
And what do I do about it?
I don't know. And I think if I had the answers to these questions, my blog would be much more popular! ha.
But I do think it's worth talking about.

Tomorrow I am going into a smaller slum in Nairobi.
We live in a broken world, and won't see completion until that Day comes.
I think it's our duty to simply be obedient to where God has put us in this world - in the classroom, in the slums, in our community, whatever.

Today I was thinking about plans. And how funny our plans are. I remember a long time ago making the declaration:
My new life plan: stop making life plans
But I mean, I was just reminded to be thankful. Here I am 23 years old, doing exactly what I had "planned" (better word "hoped") to do one day - a videographer in Africa. Things look a lot different than I planned, and the process to get here was WAY different than I ever would've dreamed up, but still - I'm here.
So for now, despite anything else, I will just rest in the fact that I am right where I'm supposed to be.

I'm certain He always leads us to the green pastures, no matter how hard the "getting there" is.

"Everything we experience that is good is just the fringes of God's joy. According to Scriptures, right now, not when you die, you are a citizen of Heaven. Obedience today, as difficult as it may seem, will not seem excessive on that day. It will be unbelievably worth it."
-Matt Chandler "Transitions"

Love you guys!

P.S. Where the crap did June go?
I only have 5 months left in Kenya. That's like 150 days, give or take. And 150 is basically 100 which is basically....okay, Im done. But if you know me (hmm Staci Payne) you know I think like that and its not good. Well, it has proven a useful way of thinking on many long road trips and long runs: By the time I hit 200 miles, I thought I was already home!! And a 10 mile run was basically a 6 miler, which is practically 3 miles, which is a piece of cake! ha! I'm weird.
some things never change, eh?
seeee yaaa.