hodge podge.

tonight's blog post is just a hodge podge of things.
most of this hodge podge can be credited to staci payne. thankful for that one.

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a few quotes I'm taking to the bank these days...

"Does it make sense to pray for guidance about the future if we are not obeying in the thing that lies before us today? How many momentous events in Scripture depended on one person's seemingly small act of obedience! Rest assured: Do what God tells you to do now, and, depend upon it, you will be shown what to do next.”

“I do know that waiting on God requires the willingness to bear uncertainty, to carry within oneself the unanswered question, lifting the heart to God about it whenever it intrudes upon one’s thoughts. Its easy to talk oneself into a decision that has no permanence – easier sometimes than to wait patiently.”
-Elisabeth Elliot

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check out this organization called The Little Bee Co.
in case you hadn't picked up on it yet, i really like bees. specifically, THE bees ;)
but anyways, this was too much for me to handle!

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went rock climbing today. i'll post more pictures later.
i really wanted to make it back to this place, Hell's Gate, before leaving Kenya. check!

snapshots.

a few shots from Naivasha.




sunset.

lime.

tree tomato.

Recently I haven't really felt like I've had anything "blog-worthy" to share.
and then I remember..."Tana, you live in Kenya!" ha.
but there is truth in the fact that regardless of where you live, there are some crazy/adventurous days and some more "normal" days. And that's a good thing.

The past few days I can't shake this thought:
Men and woman and children around the world live their lives forgetting that they are human. Forgetting that they deserve to be loved, to be respected, to be valued.

We watched this short in the office yesterday Kavi.
And it's all about modern day slavery. And I just can't get it out of my mind.
The movie is nothing too spectacular, but really paints a horrible, beautiful, honest picture of what is happening all around the world...in my backyard.

Sorry, if I've made this post a hundred times before.

Had a good weekend in Naivasha. Bess and I made the beautiful drive, good music blaring, overlooking the Rift Valley. It was a quiet and refreshing weekend for sure.
Back at the office this week - bustin out some Madagascar edits. I'm excited about the final product, which won't be released till after I am back in America.
I am thankful for the team I get to work with.

Excited about the future - lots of changes coming in 2012, but it will be so good to see family/friends in the States.

caleb

Three years.
I can't believe it's been three years, without my sweet Caleb.
It's weird because a lot of the people I'm around now, and even a lot of you who read this blog, probably don't know much about my brother. Or much about his story, or his death, or how it has so greatly changed who I am today.

Well this is Caleb. And the hard thing about losing someone you love, is just that...you don't stop loving them. And man do I love this boy. It's hard because I no longer have a tangible way to show him how much I really love him.

Caleb was a character, thats for sure :) Yes, even a punk at times. But hey, boys will be boys. :)
He had a great sense of humor and was the king of making me laugh, even if I was frustrated with him.
He also had a really sensitive side too. I remember talking to him about his first heartbreak, watching him love my grandparents so well, and sitting talking for hours about his plans for the future. He was a hard worker and devoted to his family.

I remember spending hours in the ocean surfing with him. Especially the time he put a huge dent in my surfboard. ha. He reassured me that he would "fix" it as soon as we got home. Now the big dent in the side of my board is my favorite part about it. :)

I remember the rides to school every morning in the red Camero. And how loud the music always had to be! And how we would talk a lot about life...and God. Those are some of my favorite moments with him.

I miss him more than a silly blog post can say.
But I thought I would just share a bit with you.
I am thankful for the 20 years I got on earth with him, but am anxiously awaiting the day we will meet again.

I serve a good God. A faithful and loving God. A God who understands every hurt and bottles up every tear.
I can rest easy tonight in that fact...that I am dearly loved and one day it's going to be worth it.

I am taking tomorrow and Saturday and going out to Naivasha staying in a little cottage. I always try and take Nov. 12 and just really be intentional in praying for my parents, my family, and friends of Caleb's.
it is good for my soul to remember. And I have a lot to be thankful for.

"If you don't remember...you'll forget."
Love yall.

It's only Tuesday and it's been a crazy week already.
I'm exhausted.

1. My computer died. Done.
I actually don't know what I'm going to do.
Trusting in God to provide.
I can't even go into all of it because it seriously stresses me out. I know, "chill" is not my middle name.

2. I love my parents. I am so so thankful for them.
This is a tough week for the Conner family, but I am reminded of how much God loves us.
I am thankful for their constant support of this crazy, not-so-constant daughter.

3. I've converted. I am a believer in FCPX - Final Cut Pro X. Didn't think I would say that, but it's true. To some of you that means nothing, but to my techie friends out there, I think FCPX is the way to go. It's a lot of fun!! (maybe just because it's new)

4. Really thankful for my neighbor/roomie Bess. She's been more than awesome over the last couple of stressful days.

5. I'd rather be doing what I'm doing, facing the occasional opposition, than sitting on my couch eating cheetos watching reality TV.

full

Well, if I keep having nights like I've had this week...I'm never gonna leave this place. :)
It's been a good and busy week.
Lots of good times with good people. My heart has just been full, and I feel so thankful.

Engagement photo shoot with sweet friends, rugby tournament, sleepover with my new neighbor bess!, spending time with one of my favorite families in Kenya, dinner with good Kenyan friends, exciting happenings at work, etc, etc.

The next 5 weeks are bound to be very busy. Lots of things to do and people to see before I leave this country.
I am spending a week in South Africa (with Kristen Rupert!!) after leaving Nairobi, then I'll be home for Christmas.
Crazy.

Tonight I had a really good conversation with T-Roy (my dad). It really means so much to have parents who support me in whatever I do. But we just talked about the future, and where God is leading me.
I think its safe to say, I am unofficially officially returning to Kenya. ha. Can I say that? Just did.
My mom has said since I was about 12 yrs old, that she felt God has been preparing her for me to live abroad.
And I'm not exactly sure how, or when, or where, or with who...but if I knew all those answers, life would be pretty boring, eh? :)

“The way of trust is a movement into obscurity, into the undefined, into ambiguity, not into some predetermined, clearly delineated plan for the future. The next step discloses itself only out of a discernment of God acting in the desert of the present moment. The reality of naked trust is the life of the pilgrim who leaves what is nailed down, obvious, and secure, and walks into the unknown without any rational explanation to justify the decision or guarantee the future. Why? Because God has signaled the movement and offered it his presence and his promise.”
-Brennan Manning

My prayer tonight, is just that we would all be sensitive to God's act of "signaling the movement", whatever that may mean for your life.
Love yall. :)

what i'm currently working on.
also, this is the girl i stayed with in the village in madagascar. :)


ps-tickets to america...booked.
38 days left in kenya.
i don't even know what to do with myself...
kipmif?